welcome to the after-party

of the wellness era

THE ANTI-WELLNESS APP OBSESSED WITH YOUR WELLBEING.

Matcha won’t fix your rage.
And meditation won’t pay your rent.

**your wellness tools work better when your hormones do.**

💅 Your CBD hits harder when your nervous system isn’t stuck in survival mode.

Otherwise you’re just sedating the stress you refuse to release.

🧘‍♀️ Reformer Pilates builds strength, but only when your body’s not hoarding trauma.

Tight glutes don’t mean shxt if your inner child’s still bracing for impact.

🍵 Your matcha will detox you better, when you aren’t in a toxic relationship.

It can’t cancel out red flags you keep ignoring (probs will still taste like pond though.)

🧠 Meditation lands deeper when your brain isn’t trained to perform for others.

You’re not “bad at meditating”, you’re just terrified of being still with yourself.

💊 Supplements absorb better when your gut isn’t clenched tighter than your jaw during sex.

You can’t digest lions mane when you can’t even digest your emotions.

👀 Skincare glows harder when your cortisol isn’t throwing your entire system into chaos every time you open your inbox.

You don’t need a new serum. You need to stop people-pleasing in Slack.

Your intuition is the music and your hormones are the headphones. You can’t hear the song without being plugged in. The wellness industry killed the rhythm and sold you a to-do list instead.

Rhae doesn’t throw shade on your rituals. She makes them finally work.

ACROSS A 5 MONTH PERIOD, RHAE USERS REPORTED:

conviction up by 80%

measured by fewer apologies and sharper boundaries,

intention up by 75%

doing less, making more. productivity is not a personality trait.

sacrifice down by 55%

our therapist says that people-pleasing is a trauma response.

vitality up by 68%

just better orgasms. (probably)

the death of wellness as you know it.

BODY FIRST, BULLSHXT LAST ↓

You’ve been gaslit by green smoothies, radicalised by meditation and the world has been babying your nervous system, telling you that your chaos is too much, too loud, too inconvenient, and then branding it as 'healing'.

✨ Breathe through your rage
🧘‍♀️ Journal instead of scream
💅 Gua Sha away trauma and call it self-care

All while your body’s trying to slap you into consciousness:

💣Middle of the night wakeups (always for a wee, always around the same time)
💣 Rage that makes you feel like you’re the problem
💣 Calling in sick even though nothing’s “technically” wrong
💣 A period that ghosted you for 3 months then came back with revenge
💣 Flaring skin. Bloated belly. Burnout.
💣 No libido. Brain fog. Zero conviction.

Wellness didn’t regulate you.
It made you more compliant, more marketable.
A prettier version of your pain. To smile while you spiralled.

You weren’t healing. You were being packaged by the patriarchy, fed into its algorithm and then sold a version of ‘growth’ that made you more palatable, passive and easy to manage.

Get in bxtch

we’re going to hold your hand while we say this…

Mushroom lattes are pointless if you’re still sexting your toxic ex.

Reformer Pilates? Polished self-punishment if your 9-5 makes you hate your life.

Cycle-syncing means nothing if you don’t trust your body.

Rhae doesn’t remind you to drink water, or simply tell you if you’re ovulating.

She’s not tracking your steps or your sleep either.

She’s tracking your hormones, tuning into your energy and listening to your questionable life choices (ours too babe), so she can:

Cut the cord on your addictions, scrolling, negative self-talk or otherwise.
Hold you steady while you raw-dog the truth.
Walk you out clean, with your conviction intact - and most likely much higher paid.

how does rhae work?

We don’t do phases. Because you aren’t a spreadsheet.

Follicular. Luteal. Ovulatory. Menstrual. Sounds a bit boring for our liking.

Whilst Rhae will always give you the science, she doesn’t reduce you to four moods and a 28-day calendar. She reads your hormones and energy centres and actually listens to your body, instead of trying to change it.

She tracks what the textbooks never could - the shame, the sabotage, the silence - the cycle beneath all the conditioning. And she’s armed with the knowledge that every single person, and their hormones, are different.

You’re not an 11-year-old who was devastatingly failed, you’re the fully grown bad bxtch that little girl became, who deserves more and demands better.

how can rhae help you?

Rhae wasn’t built for a demographic.

She was built for your biology, your chaos, your conviction.

If you’ve got hormones, you’re in. If you've ever been failed by the system, gaslit by doctors, handed the contraceptive pill to shut you up, or dismissed by society’s ideals of what a woman should be, this is where you're finally seen.

UP THE RHAEVOLUTION.

You were raised to fear your hormones.
Told your pain was “normal.”
Sold the pill as a solution.
Taught that bleeding, burning out, or breaking down was just part of being female.
Rhae says: f*ck that.
Your hormones aren’t a problem to fix.
They’re a power to understand.
A system that is designed for flow, creation, clarity, and conviction.
Rhae tracks what your doctor missed (not hard), the energy shifts, emotional spikes and hidden triggers, so you can lead, rest, create, cry, rage, and enjoy sex (a farfetched idea, we know) on your terms.
TL;DR: Your body’s never been broken. The system just never taught you how to listen to it.
LAUNCHING SOON!
You’ve been navigating hormone shifts in a system that was never built for you. Told to expect side effects.
Given clinical instructions but no real support.
Policed in bathrooms, questioned in clinics, and erased in conversations about “real women.”
Rhae isn’t here to simplify or shrink your experience.
She honours the complexity of your hormone journey, without judgement, without assumptions.
She helps you track what no one taught you to notice:
emotional patterns, energy highs and lows, shifts in desire, sensitivity, sleep, mood, focus.
TL;DR: You don’t need permission to be who you are.
And you definitely don’t need a billionaire author’s bullshxt about where to take a pxss.
You don’t need their approval. You deserve support that actually works.
LAUNCHING SOON!
You don’t owe anyone clarity about your gender.
You’ve been boxed in by binary systems and ignored by the ones that claim to be “inclusive.”
Periods? Pregnancies? Hormones? They don’t stop just because someone did the bare minimum for you and said they/them and called it equality.
Rhae doesn’t force you to choose a category. She works with your chemistry, no assumptions, no pressure.
She helps you track what’s actually happening inside you:
energy levels, emotional surges, cycle patterns, creative bursts, burnout.
Your body has a rhythm, and it’s not male, female, or made for marketing. It’s yours.
TL;DR: You don’t need to perform a gender to understand your body.
But you do deserve support that meets you exactly where you’re at.
Rhae’s ready when you are.
You’ve probably been told your body is a timeline. That fertility is a window. That womanhood equals motherhood. And that your worth is tied to what your womb can, or can’t, do.
Rhae says: fxck all of that.
Whether you’re trying to get pregnant, healing from loss, navigating IVF, sick of the pressure to become a mother, you deserve support that actually sees you.
Not a number on a chart. Not a follicle count. Definitely not a failure.
Rhae helps you understand your cycle, your signals, your emotions,
so you can connect with your body without reducing it to a baby machine.
She’s not here to promise you a miracle. She’s here to remind you that your body is sacred, with or without a baby.
TL;DR: Whether you’re making life, grieving it, or choosing your own kind of creation, Rhae’s with you every step of the way.